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This article is about the nation The Decaying Ruins of Hofkauzern. For demographic statistics about the former International Empire, see International Empire of Hofkauzern.

Hofkauzern
Hofkauzerncomm
Official Name Communist International of Hofkauzern; see also International Empire of Hofkauzern
Affiliation Hofscient Pact, Osirian World, Coalition for Passwordia, FRA, Soviet Union
Location North realms of Osiria
[[{{{Image:MAP}}}]]
Motto: "Communist International"
Anthem: Hofkauzern
Demographics
Region Soviet Union
Capital Apokalypseburg
Largest City Apokalypseburg
Political Divisions Autonomous Okrugs: Hofintern, Hofkriegsratstaat; Autonomous Kraia: Hofreich, Hoffrüstaat, Hoftundra, Hofberg; Federal Cities: Apokalypseburg; Sovereign Socialist Republics: Varmya, Aggressive Negotiators
Language Hofkauzerisch
Population 725,000,000
Founded 6 December 2007
UN Category Left-Wing Utopia
Government priority Education
Economy Reasonable
Civil rights Superb
Political freedoms Excellent
Income tax rate 100%
Major industry Uranium Mining
Urban/Rural 92/8
Gender distribution Male 50.4%, female 49.6%, hermaphrodite 0.0%, sterile (neuter) 0.0%
Adult Literacy 100%
Doctors/person 1/14.8
Vehicles/adult 1.2/1
Life Expectancy 87.6
Government
Government Type Communist
Hochkanzler Ükrei Schtroch
Präsident Friedrich von Apokalypseburg
Unheiliger Kaiser Wilhelm von Hofkauzern
Administrät Zeichner Kaltag
Hochdiplomät Ulrich Werner
Economy
Economy Type Communist
Currency 4.1298 virtual monetary units = $1
Revenue $3,538,581,660,250.00
Expenditures $3,467,810,027,045.00
GNP $3,434,655,876,246.82
per capita GDP $4,737.46
Imports $420,850,731,437.50 (food)
Exports $387,696,580,639.32 (medical goods, weaponry, uranium, technology)
Trade Balance -$33,154,150,798.18
Major Trade Partners Vraine 53.6%, Imperium Scientium 14.1%, Other 33.3%
Nation
Website [www.nationstates.net/hofkauzern http://www.hofkauzern.hfk]
Average Annual Temperature 4 C
Coldest -153 C
Warmest 31 C
Average Annual Precipitation 122"
Internet TDL .hfk
Calling Code +1667
Animal Serpent
Sport machine gun shooting
Worker enthusiasm 100%
Government efficiency 94%
Info: NationStates NSEconomy/Hofkauzern [http://www.pipian.com/stuffforchat/gdpcalc.php?nation=Hofkauzern Pipian NS Tracker XML

Hofkauzern is a country located on the northern continent of the planet of Osiria and the largest state by land area on the planet. It is a state working toward true, pure Communism which functions with several autonomous regions. Hofkauzern borders the following countries: Vraine, Tlusch, and Vusch. Its government is centered at Apokalypseburg, Osiria's largest city with a total population of 816 million (more than Greater Hofkauzern with 544 million in the autonomous okrug and 272 million in Greater Hofkauzern).

Hofkauzern first became a state in the Osirian year 0 after declaring its independence from Uberuberdeutschland amidst the strife of the Imperium Scientium secession crisis. Since then, it has established itself as a nation of minor (but nonetheless existent) importance on the world stage, undergoing 3 revolutions and shifting from a psychotic dictatorship to a left-wing utopia.

GeographyEdit

Main article: Geography of Hofkauzern

Hofkauzern is located in the frozen northern regions of Osiria. The land near the nation's coast is mountainous, with the highest mountain, Apocalypse Peak, being the second highest on Osiria and the site of pre-revolutionary Hofkauzern's largest battle. The coast itself is a glacial region with fjords along some strtches of coast. Hofkauzern contains more glaciers than any other nation on Osiria. Hofkauzern shares its longest border with Vraine. Osiria's north pole is found in Hofkauzern.

ClimateEdit

Hofkauzern's climate is harsh and frigid since the nation is located in Osiria's polar region. Most of the land is tundra, with permafrost beneath the terrain. Throughout most the country, a uniform climate pattern can be found. Brief summers rarely have temperatures above 20 C, and they are followed and preceded by short transition periods. A long winter takes up most of the year and temperatures frequently drop to below -100 C during the perpetual night. The exceptions to this general pattern are found in the polar regions and on the Apokalypseburg Peninsula. On the peninsula, the climate is relatively temperate because of its proximity to the ocean. The polar area, by contrast, is in a state of virtually perpetual winter.

HistoryEdit

Main article: History of Hofkauzern

The Sovereign Nation of HofkauzernEdit

On 6 December 0, the nation of Uberuberdeutschland underwent a great civil war as Imperium Scientium struggled for independence. In the ensuing chaos, a popular revolution began in Uberuberberlin. Thousands of workers took to the streets demanding a change in the government to socialism. The Uberuberdeutsch government sent an army to crush the revolt. When the revolt was put down, the icy north region of Uberuberdeutschland revolted and declared independence. Millions of people fled across the Uberuberdeutsch border to the new nation of Hofkauzern. The Uberuberdeutsch government was too preoccupied with the war against the Imperium Scientium to diver forces to defeat the northern revolutionaries. Hofkauzern's independence was assured without warfare.

The people demanded a strong guiding hand to assure the perpetuation of their new welfare state, and Wilhelm von Hofkauzern was the perfect candidate. He was granted the title of His Unholiness the Emperor of the Sovereign Nation of Hofkauzern. Once in power, he abolished voting rights and fashioned himself a dictator. After his abolition of voting rights, there was some unrest among the populace, so he created a new body, the National Assembly. However, he banned the Pacifist Party and Environmentalist Party from this Assembly. Also, the Assembly has no real political power; it was merely created to deceive the people into thinking that they actually had power. It was mostly dominated by His Unholiness's personal party, the Nationalist Union. On 7 December, the political situation generally calmed down.

Hofkauzern was separated from the Uberuberdeutsch mainland in a great earthquake and the entire nation then rose from the depths of The East Pacific. The new nation would remain in TEP for one full Osirian year following its foundation until Wilhelm decided upon a new location for the nation.

The Alliance of Dictators and the Unholy EmpireEdit

It was not long before Wilhelm declared the end of the Sovereign Nation and the beginning of the Unholy Empire. He proclaimed a new order - The Unholy Empire of Hofkauzern - and ordered the nation's relocation to the Alliance of Dictators (after he found out his initial choice, Soviet Union, was being invaded by The New Inquisition).

It was not long before the new order's strength was tested. Hofkauzern authorities reported a strike of the retail working class in the city of Wilhelmsburg. Several hundred workers unexpectedly reported substandard wages and began a massive strike. "We are the backbone of [Hofkauzern]," one union leader said as the government negotiated with employers. In a surprise maneuver, His Unholiness made concessions to the workers and removed the last vestiges of a capitalistic economy by ordering a mass execution of all employers throughout his realm. "This is a glorious day for Hofkauzern," said one worker observing a line of tanks approaching the National Industrial Plant in the capital of Apokalypseburg to arrest the employers and board.

Next, the Unholy Emperor created a new government position - the Minister of Death. This Minister would oversee the nations mass executions. The Emperor then personally devised a new method for executions that the Minister of Death guaranteed to the people would be "immensely painful and exciting to watch." It was labeled the "Eviscerum." Individuals subjected to it were immersed in a boiling mixture of the flesh and blood of those who preceded them in death. Deep incisions were made in their sides with torture devices, allowing their entrails to spill out of their body. Their flesh was peeled from their bones, which were ground into a fine powder. All the while, needles were injected into their brains, providing them with life support and guaranteeing they survive to endure all the pain. The execution was completed when the skull of the victim was crushed, along with the brain inside. The corpse was then liquified for the next victim to be immersed in. The Eviscerum was first tested in the year 1 on Konrad Licorish, leader of an Environmentalist militant organization, to great applause from the general population. Over a million people came to watch the execution of Hizkal Nusenberg, president of the National Industrial Plant. "We can truly consider ourselves free today!" one worker said of the execution. The Eviscerum was adopted by the National Assembly as the national execution method of Hofkauzern.

Employers, along with Environmentalist militants and over one million "traitors" were executed in what was called "the Massacre of the Century." The Emperor labeled it "The Day of Blood" and made it Hofkauzern's national holiday.

In the year 2, on December 3 at approximately 6:00 AM, a terrorist organization known as the "Hofkauzern Liberation Front" staged an attack at the Imperial Fortress in Apokalypseburg in an attempt to depose the Emperor. Seven or eight members delivered a message to a large audience massed before the Imperial Fortress promising "liberty, equality, and freedom from oppression." Fortunately, this demonstration caught the attention of the Death Corps members stationed at the Fortress, who arrested the Liberation Front Members, who were sent to the Eviscerum. Also arrested were tens of thousands of suspect members. All were sent to the Eviscerum. Free speech against the government was unanimously outlawed by the National Assembly. Mandatory organ donation was then enforced.

War against UberuberdeutschlandEdit

In Osirian year 3, an Uberuberdeutsch army marched into Hofkauzern, its leaders stating they recognized no state other than Uberuberdeutschland in Hofkauzern's territory. The Emperor declared this act intolerable and labeled it as a declaration of war. Simultaneoulsy with the invasion, a new lode of uranium was discovered in the far north of Hofkauzern, and members of the National Assembly proposed the beginning of a nuclear weapons program for the nation, which was very weak at the time. As Hofkauzern was not part of the United Nations, it was not bound to obey any nonproliferation treaties. Following his declaration of war, Wilhelm delivered a famous speech:


"People of the sovereign state of Hofkauzern,

We have arrived at a critical point

in our nation's history.


It appears as though the flesh abominations

in the swineland of Uberuberdeutschland

have initiated an unprovoked attack

to destroy the sovereignty

of our realm.


This unto the government of Uberuberdeutschland:

Our Death Corps is undefeatable.

Our army is among the most disciplined

in the world for an army of its size.

Our allies are placing massive pressure

On your crumbling diseased nation.


The weight of our armies

will crush and obliterate

what is left of your state.

Scum of Uberuberdeutschland,

in a sense, we are the ones

on the offensive now.


You have no chance.

Accept your defeat

and we shall be kind

in our surrender terms.

Continue to fight,

and we will not stop until

every last Uberuberdeutsch

man, woman, and child

lies in the grave your government

has dug for them.


This unto the people of Hofkauzern:

We are invulnerable.

Our economy has exploded

in the course of the past

several days.


We will continue to provide for you

all the necessities of life.

Our welfare program

is receiving an immense amount of funds

from the new tax on the upper classes.


People of Hofkauzern,

in this time of crisis we must remain united.

We will overcome our enemy!"

The Uberuberdeutsch army in Hofkauzern was, in the year 4, fired upon by the Hofkauzern Death Corps and regular army members after the Uberuberdeutsch leadership failed to accept an ultimatum delivered by Hofkauzern, demanding the immediate withdrawal of all Uberuberdeutsch forces. The first Osirian year of the war did not going well, however; Uberuberdeutsch armies cut as far into Hofkauzern as seven kilometers in places.

The Battle of Apocalypse PeakEdit

The Uberuberdeutsch advance into Hofkauzern was eventually stopped dead and the enemy began a disorderly retreat from Hofkauzern. Uberuberdeutsch troops had landed in two groups, one in the east and one in the west. The western group consisted of five battalions of ten thousand men each. Three of these battalions cut approximately eleven kilometers into Hofkauzern territory. All the while, Hofkauzern troops were stationed in the surrounding mountain ranges. Only one battalion was engaging the enemy, and this army was orderly retreating with the three attacking battalions in pursuit.

Meanwhile, the two remaining enemy battalions were securing the shore. Three Hofkauzern battalions descended from the mountains an ambushed the enemy, inflicting six thousand casualties while losing only a thousand troops. The remaining fourteen thousand or so enemy forces surrendered their weapons to a force over twice the size of their own. Weaponless and useless, the prisoners of war were sent to the capital to face the Eviscerum. Their munitions and weapons were confiscated and employed by the Hofkauzern forces.

The victorious Hofkauzern armies began pursuit of the three battalions that had as of yet been driving back a lone Hofkauzern battle group. This battle group was ordered to parry the enemy attack to allow the advancing Hofkauzern troops to catch up. As these three battalions closed in from behind, the enemy's right flanks were decimated by forces stationed in the mountains. The enemy was encircled and forced to surrender. However, this phase of the battle was very costly. Over seven thousand Hofkauzern troops were lost to the enemy's approximately nine thousand.

All the while, a second enemy force had landed in the mountainous east and was making its way down a glacial valley. This time, only four Uberuberdeutsch battalions had landed, and Hofkauzern troops lie in wait in the mountains. Two enemy group were ordered to march on Apokalypseburg while the other two secured current Uberuberdeutsch positions.

A third landing force of one Uberuberdeutsch battalion was deployed even further to the east to combat a Hofkauzern group enemy sattelites had spotted in the mountains. This enemy plan was an utter failure. Over eight thousand Uberuberdeutsch troops were mown down by the Hofkauzern machine gun nests. Two thousand Hofkauzern soldiers were killed in the fighting. One of the battalions instructed to attack the capital was diverted through a glacial pass near the summit of Apocalypse Peak to reinforce the desparate force in the deep east. Here they encountered a Hofkauzern army and engaged for several minutes to a stalemate before continuing their forward drive amidst heavy fire from the Hofkauzern troops. Unfortunately for the enemy, the overwhelmed, isolated battalion in the far east had believed that reinforcements were not going to be sent; the Uberuberdeutsch military command would not permit the sacrifice of further troops to relieve them. However, reinforcements were indeed coming and the remnants of the retreating enemy unit were scattered. The reinforcing unit was now trapped between two Hofkauzern forces and fell into disarray, beginning a disorderly retreat among heavy gunfire in the direction of Apokalypseburg.

Meanwhile, the troops at the shore securing the Uberuberdeutsch position met a similar fate to their western counterparts. They were encircled by Hofkauzern forces, but, fearing the Eviscerum, they did not surrender. All were given posthumous awards by the Uberuberdeutsch government.

UnholyEmpire

The flag of the Unholy Empire of Hofkauzern, which was almost responsible for the nation's banning from AoD. Hofkauzern was never a fascist state (always practicing radical socialism), despite the flag's appearance.

Virtual cease-fire and the threat of attackEdit

The surviving members of Uberuberdeutschland's disastrous invasion of Hofkauzern massed to the south of Apokalypseburg. At least a quarter died due to the harsh weather conditions, most notably a snowstorm. The enemy's morale was crushed, but they did not yet surrender or attempt retreat from the island. Uberuberdeutsch supply lines were virtually nonexistent. Artillery bombardment of several Uberuberdeutsch encampments began following the massing of enemy troops around Apokalypseburg. Air stikes were postponed until after the passing of the storm. Following the storm, several airplanes were sent to provide air support for Imperium Scientium's forces in Science City, where the battle was at a standstill. The war would see no major fighting following these operations, which eventually forced the retreat of the Uberuberdeutsch army.

The Rape of HofkauzernEdit

(incomplete)

Hofkauzern was forced from the Alliance of Dictators on the charge that its flag resembled a Nazi flag. Hofkauzern relocated to the region of USSR. This event was shortly followed by the "Rape of Vraine".

The Hofkauzern Revolutions and the International EmpireEdit

(incomplete)

The Soviet UnionEdit

(incomplete)

The End of HofkauzernEdit

Hofkauzern's golden age was short-lived. On 9 May 2008, the NationStates moderators arbitrarily destroyed half of the International Empire. Absolutely nothing could be done. There was no reasoning with this arbitrary decision, and the moderators would not provide even a simple explanation. It seemed that the International Empire was finished. Hofkauzern became "The Decaying Ruins of Hofkauzern".

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